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13 November 2009 @ 01:53 am
meet the love  
"chemistry.. either you got it or you dont" - Grey's Anatomy

I gotta fly over to his place
I want to check on ours
and decide about us right there
his absence made me confused of our chemistry together
is it just body chemistry that we had to meet everyday before - what about our souls?
are we soulmates ?

allow me to be confused here
because he's everything that I'm not
he's everything that I dont want  
I'm not being impossible here
you know how Yoochun is charming,stylish,cute and all but can you handle Yoochun-like greasiness ????
Imagine husky voice,the smile and the stare of his *dizzy*
Imagine having to deal with it whenever we argued
I dont know if you like the idea of being carried bridal-style in public,daily dose of mushy words, surprise kiss, dedication of songs, being fed in public, etc but for someone like me who is not comfy with PDA, gotten a Yoochun for myself caused shock..strangely I miss 'em now.. gahh love is crazy ! we're crazy - I'm this hardcore no-nonsense lover and he's this romantic greasy lover *sighs*

but he fits me
and I find it hard to swallow the fact that
he gets me. 
of crse he has to get me by now since
he's been learning about me for 9 years
while my learning process just started few months ago?
I'll never be able to compete with him

this cant be happening
I have my own idea of 'boyfriend'
I have a different view about 'love'
I don't think he's willing to change and adapt to the life I want
neither do I
still... I need him and I can only picture him next to 'future'

I'm sure he feels the confusion as well
Im everything that he's not or want
I'm everything he should avoid
yet I am everything for him 

right now we're pretending and we're sooooo bad at it
we argue constantly and consistently about our inability for / lack of commitment 
he pretends like he doesnt care anymore esp towards my emotional outburst
yet he still call everyday and noticed whatever I said
I pretend like I dont give a damn abt him
but I still pick up the calls and made sure it ends well 
why do we please/frustrate each other
do we love or not? im unhappy and happy and unhappy and happy and whatever

Im beginning to agree we're most likely to end up with our version of 'wrong kind' 
will there be a good ending though?
I know I'll update abt mine later...Photobucket
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Khalil Fong - sorry